24 things I’ve learned in 24 years
As I’m writing this list, sitting in my thanks-to-COVID-19-at home desk, I’m just thinking ‘‘maan, I’m so young!’’.
I don’t actually know if I’m wise enough to publish things that I’ve learned until today, my 24th birthday, actually, my friends and family will tell you they always have to remind me that I’m just an old soul and I still have a lot to do, accomplish and give.
I’m posting these for myself, as my writing has always been my way to close chapters and open doors to new seasons, and for whoever might need it, since we’re all walking this life trying to live and learn.
So grab some dessert to celebrate with me while reading this list:
1. A good friend feeds up your life
I’m what I call an antisocial extrovert so, a good friend, good people in general and the ones closer to my heart are those who feed happiness, advice, realistic ideas, dreams, hope, wisdom, secrecy and trust, love and light to my life.
2. Try, try, try, try once more, and then let go
I got tired of trying to harvest relationships where I was the only one who planted the seeds and watered and sang songs to them, even if I knew they wouldn’t listen. It was time consuming and triggered my anxiety and depression. So, enough was (and it always is) enough.
3. It’s OK to be sad
For a long time it was very hard for me to allow myself to feel sadness, cause ‘‘it didn’t feel like myself’’ or because I felt I was in some way failing on having faith that whatever I was going through, I would, eventually, overcome, which leads me to point 4:
4. Faith is a gift, and it’s yours to keep
I realized that #1, I can’t have a fake expectation of myself and talk to the God I believe in with a mask on, and #2, I don’t want to have any relationship, but specially a spiritual one, based on fear.
5. The more I’m learning, the more I don’t know
I could be very entitled to my opinion and my noes are always noes, and my yeses are always yeses, but I’ve learned to listen, pay attention and be open to other people’s POV because a big ego it’s too heavy to walk with.
6. Accept it, you’re smart
You know those people who prefer to work behind curtains, not because they can’t work in front of the camera, but because they don’t want to pass as braggers? Well, here I am. Now I know better, I’m smart, I can talk about a wide variety of topics with humility and respect, and that’s okay.
7. My parents and siblings are their own person with their own trauma
And it isn’t my duty to solve them. Once I understood that, I was able to change my role on my relationships with them and I’m happy to say we’re in a very healthy and loving place right now.
8. It’s OK to say no
Set your boundaries and stick to them, that’s it.
9. Everything will be fine
Life is a rollercoaster, you won’t be at the bottom forever. I think what has worked for me is to try to live every moment and try to find a lesson in everything.
10. Take accountability for your life
Your life is your responsibility. If you want a joyful, healthy and good life, YOU have to put the behaviors towards that life every single day. Stop victimizing yourself and start putting the work to change the things you’re not happy with.
11. Everyone has a different definition of love
And again, that’s okay. Some people will show you their love by being there, some will get you a present, some will listen, some will hug you… It’s fine, as long as it’s honest, love is love.
12. It’s good to give
As long as it doesn’t drain you, give by grace what you have received by grace.
13. You can’t control what other people do, but you can control how you react to them
Give your time and energy to the matters that actually require so, period.
14. You can only act out of two emotions
Fear or love. You choose. — Amy Lee.
15. Build your confidence based on things you can’t see
Let’s get a little bit too confident for a second: I know I’m beautiful, and through the years I’ve come to accept the things in my body that i didn’t like or felt shame for. But back to the main thing, my confidence isn’t based on that. I’m confident because I know my worth, because I’ve learned how to have healthy relationships and because I know myself.
16. Think about how you can contribute to other people’s lives, instead of the opposite
I know I said you have to set you boundaries and all of that, but what I mean here is that you can’t go into relationships expecting to be the only one who receives, that’s selfish. Try to find a balance.
17. Create
I love art. I paint, sing, write and dance. I create to breathe, to dream, to live. It brings me joy. Create in your own way, watch webinars, take workshops... Keep learning and educating yourself on everything you love.
18. Healing is a daily practice
Healing is not a moment, is a habit. It isn’t easy at all, but you have to fight everyday to be your best version, to learn, to love, to have a soft heart and to shine with your brightest light.
19. Peace and honesty are VERY important
Go to places (when we’re Corona free) and surround yourself with people that would keep you at peace, make you feel loved and cherish and nourish your inner peace and your light.
20. A good book goes a long way
This also applies for movies, series and playlists.
21. Simple minded people save, clever people invest
Educate yourself, learn about your finances, the stock and about different ways to assure you have a healthy financial life. Choose what’s best for you to tell your money where it’s going before you ask yourself where it went, and find ways to keep you accountable and committed.
22. Freedom and trust are synonyms
At least for me, in the sense that they both take time to gain and if you lose them, you’ll need a lot of forgiveness and smart forgetfulness to win them back. So treasure your freedom and the trust you (and others) have in yourself.
23. Thankfulness, a smile and an optimistic attitude will take you places
Don’t be ungrateful, negative, obnoxious, apathetic or condescendent. Please make a priority to treat each person the same way you’d like to be treated.
24. Say NO to forcing
I’m an anti-forcing person. If I’m trying to do/get something and with every try I find that the circumstances aren’t the appropriate, I won’t force it to happen. I believe in perfect synchronization for everything. Let it flow, what has to be, will be.
This year has been hectic and crazy for everyone
I love birthdays, I always begin planning mine months ahead, but this year we all had more important things to think about and to reflect on.
I’m trying to see this period not as a pause but as an opportunity to do more self-discovering. I’m fortunate and thankful for that, so this last month I decided to count my blessings — me and my loved ones are healthy and thankfully nobody lost their job — I’m focused on writing down my intentions and working on accomplish them.
I hope you are safe, healthy and happy in despite of the circumstances and that you found at least one thing on this list that was helpful in some way for you.
Happy birthday to me, yay!
With love,
Kat.-
