I want to be a writer
There’s this poem in Halsey’s poetry collection, it’s about me.
I guess I always knew I’m a creative soul. When I was little I would give my parents my art — letters, poems, paintings, crafts — as gifts, and they knew. They would tell me how happy those little distorted things made them feel and that was enough for me.
The thing is that while growing up, in my mind, the tiny trauma seed made me believe artistic passions always come from sad stories and I had my experiences to believe so. I let it take root and close myself to the possibility of sharing my art.
But words are like new born gazelles, eager to walk and then run. I’d hide in my bedroom and spent hours reading and trying to mimic other author’s voices. I would write everyday and then show it to my one close friend. She was hard on me, my only reader, my hardest critic.
Anyways, moving forward, it’s been 12 years of doing this secretly, learning, studying, feeling like it’s not worth it, when I know it is. I got that Halsey book as a gift (from that same friend), and the I Want To Be a Writer poem inspired me to do this, it felt like I was reading my own words. My heart was finally understood.
So here I am, sharing this as a way to keep me accountable.
I want to be a writer.
I want the pain that comes before writing about it. I want the satisfaction that hits you after you read it out loud.
And the bleeding brains, the inspiration moments in the middle of my insomnia.
Poetry is my first love. I want all of it.
With love,
Kat.-
